


Torn

by Nomolosk



Series: Family Matters [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hawkmoth Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26646349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nomolosk/pseuds/Nomolosk
Summary: Adrien has a difficult decision to make, now that he knows his father is Hawkmoth.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe
Series: Family Matters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938691
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	Torn

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place immediately following the events of chapter 8 of "The Things We Do For Family." 
> 
> In the end, it didn't fit with the flow of that fic, but I love it too much to scrap it completely.

Nino and Max were both home when Adrien got to his apartment. Nino was making himself something to eat and bobbing his head along with some tunes in the kitchen, while the sounds of Max talking on voice chat in his bedroom were faint but present.

Adrien took a deep breath and released it, relaxing. Here, life was ordinary, peaceful… untroubled by recent revelations. Here, he could just… be. Maybe this was what he had needed all along- just an ordinary space with no expectations hanging over his head, no weighty decisions to make.

He crossed over to the kitchenette and Nino looked up, only one of his earphones actually over his ear- similar to what he’d do when he was DJing at an event.

“Hey dude! Back a little early today…” Nino paused and looked at him properly. “Looks like it was a rough day, though. Want some grub? I was gonna save it for Alya, but she texted me that she’s working late tonight.”

Adrien nodded and smiled, though he could tell it wasn’t up to his usual standard. He’d already decided he was going to tell Nino everything, but he didn’t feel like talking yet. Nino gave him a sympathetic smile and got another plate out of the drainboard. The three bachelors hardly ever put their plates and utensils actually away in the cupboard, because it was so convenient to just grab them out of the rack where they drip-dried after washing.

It didn’t take long for the curry Nino had mixed up to be ready, and soon Adrien and Nino were sitting at the breakfast bar and eating in companionable silence. They didn’t invite Max to join them, since they’d established pretty early on in their co-habitation that he preferred to eat later in the evening since he was a night owl.

Adrien managed to eat about half his portion before everything caught up with him again and he lost his appetite. Wordlessly he scraped the remainder into a covered dish and put it away, then went and connected the video game console, pulling out the tried and true Ultimate Mecha Strike III. It was something of a code for them- whenever they needed to talk about something, they’d pull out this game. They knew it backwards and forwards, but it still had enough random chance that it served as just enough of a distraction to make talking easier.

Nino eyed him with mingled curiosity and concern before shoveling the last few bites into his mouth and going to wash up the dishes. Adrien turned on the tv and was about to select the HDMI channel for the console when the news report caught his eye. Nadja Chamack was doing another review of the ongoing... feud? battle? rivalry?- between the Miraculous Heroes and Hawkmoth, and behind her were displayed stills from some of the more harrowing battles. He saw Chat Noir-  _ himself _ \- in numerous unflattering poses, and some with Ladybug in tight corners, but many of the images dealt with the aftermath of the attacks, when either he or Ladybug (or, occasionally, one of the temporary helpers) would comfort the citizen who had been the akuma. Somewhere they’d even got a few lucky shots of the cure midway through repairing something.

Nadja’s narration, while praising the heroes for their tireless efforts against the foe, called into question whether or not Hawkmoth would ever be defeated. And honestly, from the average citizen’s perspective, it was a fair question. To be honest, Adrien had also wondered if they would ever actually defeat him. After all, there had been Timetagger, who had come from a future where Hawkmoth was still active and where he and Ladybug had still been fighting him.

Now, of course, defeating him was not only possible, but likely in the very near future. In a way, he felt like his world got flipped upside down once more.

\----

“Hey dude, you okay?” Nino asked as he sat down next to Adrien.

“Yeah! Yeah,” Adrien said, shaking himself. “I was just…” he gestured to the tv. He switched the HDMI connection and the load screen for the game appeared. 

They played for a little bit, and he could tell Adrien was stewing about what he needed to talk about. Finally, after the third game which ended in a tie, Adrien began.

“My dad’s a jerk,” was what he led with.

Nino snorted. “Okay, kudos for actually saying it this time, but what brought this on? I mean, it’s kind of a given.”

Adrien sighed and said, “You remember my first birthday after I came to school? The one you got akumatized for- thanks for having my back, by the way,” he interjected with a shoulder bump. Nino bumped him back.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Well… that scarf- the blue one, you know? That wasn’t from my father. That was from Marinette. She made it, and… I guess Nathalie forgot or didn’t have time to buy me the usual pen, so she just… stole it. I just found out last night. And when I tried to confront my father about it this morning, he just brushed it aside, like it didn’t matter.”

Adrien executed one of his signature moves- one he had learned from Marinette, in fact- and Nino countered it, but ineffectually. He was distracted, thinking about how Alya had told him about the scarf ages ago. Maybe he should have told Adrien when he found out instead of keeping it a secret.

“That sucks,” Nino said quietly. “I’m sorry. For both of you.”

“Yeah…” Adrien said, missing a counter to Nino’s attack and taking a huge hit. “And the thing is, I  _ loved _ that scarf. That scarf was the reason I put up with so much crap from him because I thought, you know, deep down… but it wasn’t even  _ from _ him.”

Nino groaned as Adrien managed to land another hit and his bot died. He hung his head for a minute before selecting a different bot for their next battle.

“I’m sorry, bro. I’m… I’m sorry, but that’s all I can say.”

Adrien sighed. “I know. It just… it sucks. It’s such a- a letdown. All these years I thought… and now…”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, it’s not like you never warned me! Or anyone else I know, really. Everyone’s been saying for years how my father is such an awful person, but I kept excusing him. I feel like an idiot.”

“Yeah…” Nino said, “Not that you’re an idiot, but he’s your dad. I get it. You don’t want to believe your parents are bad people. It’s why I never pushed real hard to get you to own up to it.”

They played in silence for a while, but Nino had a feeling their ‘bro-talk’ wasn’t over yet. That was confirmed when, after Nino finally managed to beat Adrien, he leaned back into the couch cushions and stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you think Hawkmoth has kids? Like, do you think he has a family?”

Nino blinked. “Um, I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“Well… I mean, regular criminals have families, or maybe at least people that care about them, right?”

“Sure. I never really thought about it.”

“I mean, Hitler’s family died with him in the bunker, so his defeat didn’t really affect them that much… besides being dead, obviously. But they never had to  _ live _ with his defeat. But you know, what about the kids of someone like… Mao? Or Pol Pot? Or Kruschev? How… how do you think they lived with the infamy of their fathers?”

Nino turned to look at him. “What the heck, Adrien? What kind of question is that?”

Adrien puffed out a breath and Nino frowned to see actual tears gathering in his best friend’s eyes.

“My dad is Hawkmoth,” Adrien said, so quietly, so  _ brokenly _ , that Nino almost didn’t hear it. Nino stared at him, a cold feeling sweeping over him.

“... what?” he whispered. “Why- why do you… I mean, sure, Gabe’s not a great guy and he’s a worse father, but…  _ Hawkmoth?” _

Adrien didn’t answer, just draped both arms over his eyes. It was clear that whatever he’d found out, it had convinced him.

Nino stared at him before pulling out his phone. “I’m getting Alya over here-” 

But Adrien sat up and put his hand over Nino’s phone screen.

“You can’t,” he said, voice cracking a little. “I’m sorry, Nino, but you can’t. You can’t tell  _ anyone _ . I shouldn’t even have told you, but...” under his breath, he continued, “I told them I couldn’t keep this secret.”

“Told  _ who?” _ Nino asked, still reeling from that bombshell. 

“Felix,” Adrien said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “That’s how I found out. Felix told me… and there’s too much detail, too many things Felix wouldn’t or couldn’t know unless he was telling the truth.”

Nino swore. Adrien’s cousin was still a sore point for him, and he absolutely would not put it past him to play some kind of sick joke on Adrien. “I’m gonna kill him. I’m going to straight up  _ murder _ that-”

Adrien gripped his shoulder, hard enough to stop him but not hard enough to bruise. Even that made Nino sit up and take notice, though- he knew Adrien was in shape, he had to be because of the modeling. But he hadn’t expected that kind of strength from him.”

“Don’t. He was actually pretty decent about it. He didn’t gloat or taunt me, he… he told me because he really thought I should know before… well. You know.”

Nino sighed, letting some of his anger dissipate. “If you say so. So, what… I mean, how is that going to work?” he asked, his mind suddenly filled with all the implications of Gabriel Agreste being a super terrorist. All the people in fashion who had praised him for years, the employees, the people who had contracted with him or supplied his company… Marinette, who was his intern as well as a designer at the company, who was dating his  _ son _ . He puffed out a breath of his own, and adjusted his cap. This was going to be really bad.

“How are you going to tell Ladybug and Chat Noir? Do… do you want to put a post on the LadyBlog or something?” Nino felt a sinking in his gut as he recalled how, if this had happened a few years earlier, he could have transformed and met up with them himself.

Adrien gave a derisive chuckle and held up his right hand. Nino stared at it, trying to figure out what Adrien was trying to show him. He scanned the hand, but it wasn’t until the second or third pass that his eyes caught on the silver signet that Adrien had worn since Nino had known him. He’d always assumed it was part of his  _ look _ , his public persona, and that Adrien had gotten so used to wearing it that it hadn’t occurred to him to stop when he moved out of the mansion.

Things started to… connect. Nino eyes widened.

No.

No, that wasn’t pos-

Nino tackled Adrien into the couch, squeezing him as hard as he could- because it wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true… it wasn’t  _ fair. _

\----

Oddly enough, Adrien felt so much better when Nino tackled him. It was a little like being squeezed by an akuma, but at the same time, it released some of his inner tension. He knew it was because Nino had figured it out- after all, he’d held a Miraculous before, and even disguised Miraculouses could be figured out if enough clues were in place.

Honestly, it was a relief to tell someone- specifically someone who  _ didn’t _ have a stake in what goes down with Hawkmoth and Gabriel. All of a sudden, he didn’t feel the weight of the world anymore.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Adrien said, actually chuckling a little, though his eyes were still a little blurred and his voice thick with suppressed tears. He patted Nino’s back with one hand.

Nino squeezed him hard one more time before backing off.

“Dude. I know you’re a ray of sunshine and all that, but you don’t have to fake it right now, alright? Nothing about this situation is okay.” He paused, adjusting his cap where it had gotten pushed back by his tackle-hug. “I mean, besides the fact that you and I definitely know you weren’t in on it the whole time.”

Nino’s expression fell. “Does Ladybug know yet?”

“Yeah,” Adrien admitted. Marinette might kill him for this later, but he just really needed to tell Nino everything. “We were together when Felix told me.”

Nino eyed him for a long moment. “You know who she is.”

Adrien nodded. “Not til this morning, though. Felix figured me out, came to a logical conclusion, and… it’s kind of a shock to find out I’ve been dating Ladybug for the last two years without knowing it. A good one, though, which is a nice change.” He smiled a little, then looked up to Nino’s eyes as wide as they could possibly go.

Then Nino dramatically slapped his hands over his face- pushing up his glasses- and collapsed back into the couch cushions. 

“Oh my god, of course! How did I not see that before!” came his muffled voice. 

Adrien chuckled again, more than a little relieved to feel the heavy mood lifting. He sighed and sank back into the cushions himself. “This has been... a crazy week,” he said. He tilted his head a little to look at his best friend. “You know why Felix was even in town?”

“No, why? Tired of being a douche in London, so he decided to spread it over to Paris?”

“No,” Adrien said, chuckling again. “He came over to steal Father’s wedding ring.”

“What.”

“Yep. Told me so himself. Asked for my help even. Turns out, Father and Mother’s wedding rings were an heirloom set for Mom’s family, and they’re supposed to be passed on when the eldest child of the next generation gets married. Apparently my Aunt asked for them back after… well, after mom… anyway. Father refused. That’s when Felix stole the first ring. He figured out that Father had them both when he was  _ still _ wearing a wedding ring in subsequent interviews and appearances.” Adrien snorted. “You know, all this time Felix thought I  _ knew _ mom had just left, and was only playing along with Father’s sob-story? That’s why we’ve never exactly been friends.”

“That is  _ so _ messed up. So…” Nino trailed off, thinking hard. After a minute, he continued. “So… Gabriel’s been looking for a way to get your mom back?”

“Not  _ back _ , exactly.” Man, it felt  _ so good _ to just open up and let everything out. “Apparently, Mother was the first user of the peacock Miraculous- you know, the one Mayura uses?- but it was broken and it made her sick. So sick that she eventually went into a coma. It must have happened fast, though, because even though I knew her health wasn’t great, nothing I remember made me feel like she was just going to keel over.”

Adrien stared up at the ceiling again. “Father must have known, though… according to Felix he’s got a stasis pod down in a basement lair, and it’s not like you can just go to the store and pick one of those up.”

“Yeah.”

They both lapsed into silence for a few minutes. Adrien could almost feel the intensity of Nino’s brain working things out.

“Hey, but I don’t get it. How does getting your Miraculous and Ladybug’s help your mom? I mean, what’s the deal with that?”

Adrien sighed. “Apparently, combining my ring and her earrings would create a situation where you could make a wish to change reality,” Adrien replied, careful not to give too many clues as to how that was accomplished. The Wish was a potent temptation, and keeping it secret was the best defense against abuse. “It’s really dangerous though, because our Miraculouses represent balance, which means that whatever you wish for, good or bad, something opposite happens to keep things from tipping too far in either direction.”

“Huh. I guess ol’ Gabe doesn’t care about that...”

“It sure doesn’t seem like it.” 

Always in the background, the overwhelming sadness rose up again, though Adrien tried to tamp it back down. It hurt to know that Gabriel was so self-centered he didn’t care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted.

“So…” Nino said, hesitantly. “How are you going to do it? Defeat him, I mean.”

Adrien sighed, feeling the weight of the world settle back onto his shoulders. He swallowed hard. “I… don’t know if we will. Not publicly, at least.”

Nino didn’t say anything, but Adrien saw him turn his head in his direction out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t meet his gaze. 

“Felix wants us to work a spell to erase his memories, and Nathalie’s too, and take their Miraculous afterwards. Then,” he sighed again, “one of us would write an ‘anonymous note’ and leave it with the Miraculouses somewhere- probably the Eiffel Tower. Later, Ladybug and Chat Noir would ‘find it,’ and hold a press conference or something where we would announce that, according to the note, Hawkmoth had died and whoever found the Miraculous on him didn’t want to tarnish his memory for his surviving family, but didn’t feel right keeping the jewels.”

Silence from Nino while he digested this. Finally, hesitantly, he commented on it.

“I mean, that  _ would _ leave you and everyone else out of it. There would be no one for the media or the public to go after, no scapegoats… On the other hand, I kinda feel like Gabriel deserves to go to jail. He’s hurt a lot of people, some of them twice over!” He paused. “I guess I can understand why he did it. If he felt like it was the only way to wake up your mom… but it doesn’t excuse what he did. He could have just asked for help, when you and LB showed up.”

Adrien didn’t feel like commenting on Nino’s point of view. He shared it after all.

“I mean,” Nino continued, “it would kinda add an extra amount of suck to anyone who’s just lost a family member. They’d all be thinking and wondering if their loved one was secretly Hawkmoth… and wondering who among their other family members discovered the jewels.”

Adrien closed his eyes, grimacing. “I hadn’t even thought of that yet. Ugh, that makes it so much worse.”

“You don’t want to do it that way?”

“... no.”

“Why not?” Nino’s voice was gentle. “I mean… it would be understandable if you did. He’s still your dad.”

Adrien snorted. “Is he, though? I mean, he basically shoved me out of his life as much as humanly possible while still controlling every aspect of it, and now I come to find out  _ I _ never mattered as much to him as his wife? Give me a break. At least my mom didn’t shut me out or leave me on purpose… but as far as Gabriel goes? Tom Dupain is more my father than Gabriel Agreste has been in a  _ long _ time.”

“Okay, that’s… fair...”

“And don’t even start on all the employees of his company. I know, okay? I know!” Adrien could hear himself getting louder, all the frustration and conflicting emotions trying to escape all at once. He stopped himself and took a deep breath. 

“Maybe it won’t make sense to anyone else, but… I just want him to pay for his crimes. Is that too much to ask? I… I can’t even tell you how many times he killed me in battle. Sure, it was an akuma doing it, but it was  _ him _ behind the scenes, making that happen. And that’s not even counting everyone else he hurt. He literally  _ drowned Paris _ for crying out loud!”

Adrien got up and began pacing restlessly. “It’s just… Ladybug said it should be up to me, but I know she’s leaning toward the memory erasing plan, and… I feel selfish for wanting to do things the hard way. And I know,  _ I know _ , that sending my Father to jail is going to be hard on so many people, myself and Marinette included- maybe even top of the list! But…” he dragged his hands through his hair. “I can’t see me letting him go, letting him get away with it, and just… going on with life!”

Adrien fell silent, but continued pacing. After a few minutes, Nino said, “If you erased his memories, he wouldn’t even know why you hate him.” He looked up and met Adrien’s eyes. “That would be a kind of punishment, too, you know?”

Adrien frowned. “But-”

“I’m just saying,” Nino held up his hands, “that if you go with that plan, there’s no reason you have to act like nothing’s wrong between you. You can even cut him out of your life entirely, and  _ he _ would have no clue why you were doing it, but everyone else would know exactly why you were doing it. It’s not like no one knows the two of you aren’t close.”

Adrien chewed the inside of his cheek, mulling it over. Nino was right. Despite his Father’s best efforts, people knew that he and Gabriel didn’t have the best relationship, and some knew they were growing farther apart now that Adrien wasn’t under his direct thumb anymore.

“Hm,” was all he said, but honestly, Nino’s suggestion went a long way toward making him accept Felix’ plan. After all, it wasn’t that he didn’t care about everyone else involved- he just wanted  _ Gabriel _ to suffer. He wanted him to know how much he’d hurt  _ him _ , personally. The thing that put him off about the plan was having to pretend that everything was fine, when it was patently  _ not. _

Another thought hit him then. If he agreed to the mind erasure it was even possible that, if he could bring himself to forgive Gabriel, he could reconcile with him later on. If Gabriel went to prison, and if he knew that Adrien was one half of the duo that put him there… reconciliation probably wouldn’t be possible.

It was definitely something to think about.


End file.
